I did not plan on writing a blog post tonight, but as I wind down for the evening I believe it is time for me to share my honest transparent thoughts. Very seldom will anyone hear me say the words, “I am discouraged.” They may hear me say, “I am tired, but not discouraged.” I am one of those people who takes a while for reality to set in. Especially when people around me turn my world upside down, and I have no control of the upside down motion. It is not that I am a person who tries to control life, but one who expects the best in people. Then those I think the best of begin to speak words that pull the strings of my heart, bring tears to my eyes and attack me as a person and life changes. It is in this place that I begin to falter and I become discouraged. It is in this place that I begin to admit that there are people in this world that do not care about the feelings of others. They do not take in to account how they speak to others. They are christian leaders who others do not place on a pedestal, instead they place themselves on a pedestal. It is a most dangerous place to be!
The most difficult part of what I write about here is not, because the words that were recently spoken to me cut deep, but that these words are also spoken to people who may be weaker in their faith. Just maybe all of the articles we are reading about people, especially young adults who are leaving the church ( as an organization) are wrong. What if they are leaving, because of what they see in community, what they hear, and what message they are given? Could it be that they are tired, of trying to fit in when each community has different rules, different expectations, different structures and different hoops to jump through to be accepted? Could it be that because what is permissible in one church community, is not permissible in another and as leaders we are causing confusion? Is it time for christian leaders to begin taking responsibility for how they speak to others, no matter the age of the person? Could it be that we have placed taskmasters in prominent leadership positions, who will duplicate themselves with a generation of taskmasters, which in turn sets in motion the perpetual leaving of those who no longer desire to be part of a church community?
Is it time for christian leaders to examine how they speak to the body of Christ in interpersonal relationships? Does the attitude of the heart and the words we speak only apply to those we lead and not to ourselves as leaders?
The questions I ask in this post will anger a few, but then again maybe not, because they are to busy wielding the rod of authority to care that there is another way to lead, that builds the body of Christ up and does not tear it down. In their mind they stay away from pages in the bible that talk about grace, mercy and love, for these are words that bring leaders down to the level of those in the body of Christ.
Could it be, that it is time for leaders to take a look at their interpersonal communication style with the body of Christ? It is not an easy thing to do, but in the end it will bring the body of Christ together as one and it will be built up.